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HUMOR COLUMN

The Flip Side

Published: Dec 9, 2007

Thinking out loud until it started to hurt. …

Bobby Bowden's new contract will allow the 78-year-old Florida State football icon to continue coaching as long as he wants, or until Penn State's Joe Paterno is buried with at least one fewer career victory, whichever comes first. …

When Bowden finally does step down, offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher automatically assumes the head coaching position. Unless, of course, he already has announced his retirement. …

American golfer Bryan Saltus, playing on the Asian Tour, won the Cambodian Open for his first career victory, then dedicated his title to the Grateful Dead, which he has seen perform in concert 153 times. Are you like me? Are you figuring this opens the door for John Daly to credit the Doobie Brothers? …

Bobby Knight, an avid bird hunter with questionable aim, got in a verbal spat with several Centenary fans who baited the Texas Tech coach with "Oh, [expletive], he's got a gun," as the Red Raiders left the court at halftime. Even worse, he brought a chair. …

ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit's top five breaking news-story scoops:

5. Bowl-eligible Notre Dame will make trip to Dallas to play in Orange Bowl.

4. Steve Spurrier resigns as South Carolina football coach to become Fred Thompson's presidential running mate.

3. During exclusive interview, O.J. says he didn't do it.

2. "Hey, we didn't say World Wide Leader in facts."

1. Miami Dolphins interested in hiring Les Miles as next coach because that LSU pipeline worked so well last time.

An NBA game between Seattle and Golden State was halted when the SuperSonics' scoreboard caught fire. Or as the Miami Dolphins called it, next week's game plan. …

As part of an Olympic etiquette campaign to show off a polite and prosperous China, next year's Summer Games host is promoting the "Beijing Civilized Workers Cheering Squad," aimed at teaching spectators when and how to respectfully cheer. What do you say we mess with them, and send over some Raiders fans? …

"This could be good," Tiger Woods said, reporting 5-month old daughter, Sam Alexis, has been accompanying him to the driving range and gets excited when dad hits a shot. Just like Woods' caddie Stevie Williams - except 5-month-olds are expected to whine. …

In Orlando's Capital One Bowl, the University of Florida has been installed as 11-point favorites against Michigan - 14 if the Gators bring their own potato chips. …

Carolina Panthers quarterback Vinny Testaverde, 44, isn't ruling out playing again next season, a move that would make him the oldest quarterback in NFL history. That would be good news for Carolina. Seems Medicare does not affect the salary cap. …

Former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green is seeking to copyright the phrase "They Are Who We Thought They Were." I guess "Fired For Doing Lousy Job" was already taken. …

Michael Jordan's divorce settlement will cost him $168 million. But he does get custody of Ahmad Rashad. …

So, according to a New York Times report, Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is a Tampa slumlord with molding mattresses piled outside an apartment complex on MacDill Avenue. A-Rod says it's just a misunderstanding. He thought the "take" sign was on. …

Coca-Cola has extended its marketing partnership with NASCAR for 10 years, but I'm not so sure about the new ad campaign: "When you just can't drink another beer, mixes well with whiskey."


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